Saturday, December 13, 2008

RAMBLINGS OF A RETIRED MIND

Got this in an e-mail today. It is great !!!


Ramblings of a Retired Mind

I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones or purse.
I can't afford one, so I am wearing my garage door opener.

I also made a cover for my hearing aid and now I have what they call blue teeth, I think.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I thought about making a fitness movie for folks my age, and calling it "Pumpin Rust."

I've gotten that dreaded furniture disease.
That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

When people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?"
Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!!"

Employment application blanks always ask, "who is to be notified in case of an emergency?"
I think I should write, "A Good Doctor."

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office?
What are we supposed to do.........write to these men?

Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mails?
Or better yet, arrest them while they are taking their picture!!

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older.
Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals.

Still laughing,
Betty G